The Egg
Hello....long long ago in the dark dim distant days of slim youth I lived in a bungalow on my beloved Kenton Bar Estate(where my spirit still dwells to this day, ceaselessly patrolling the ramparts of Castle Kenton Bar in the darkmans when all are aslumber...but I've told you all this before...
One day I was watching an episode of' Coronation Street'and my recollection of this was that Alf Roberts was wittering on about how you cant break an egg if you put it in between your palms, pointed bits touching each palm and press on the egg, hands joined in like a cats cradle way...this he demonstrated...now I've looked for this on you tube but cant find...anyway I proudly marched to the kitchen to demonstrate this to my beloved mother...unfortunately I must of miss positioned the egg and it smashed all over the kitchen floor...my beloved mother was unfortunately not in the best of moods and her eyes went red...now iI knew from bitter experience that when the eyes went red the next think would be snarling gritted teeth followed by chests punches to the syllables of each word...for example it would have gone'you!(1 chest punch(CP) stupid!(2CP) little!(2CP) bloody!(2CP) sod!(1CP)...I had no which to suffer pain so I ran...I ran oh my brothers...out out out the kitchen door left then left to the fence joining our bungalow to the next one then up up and up I leapt like a young gazelle, hauling meinself up on the fence then onto the roof...leaning over the edge, looking down Gollum like on my beloved mother, now full hate and loathing to your humble narrator oh mein brothers...Get down here you little bugger, NOW! she roared, but I wisely and sadly shook mein gulliver side to side, that discourse not being wise...panting she lurched off in in and in to the bungalow whilst I waited until her wrath had calmed...all because of a bloody egg eh?
One day I was watching an episode of' Coronation Street'and my recollection of this was that Alf Roberts was wittering on about how you cant break an egg if you put it in between your palms, pointed bits touching each palm and press on the egg, hands joined in like a cats cradle way...this he demonstrated...now I've looked for this on you tube but cant find...anyway I proudly marched to the kitchen to demonstrate this to my beloved mother...unfortunately I must of miss positioned the egg and it smashed all over the kitchen floor...my beloved mother was unfortunately not in the best of moods and her eyes went red...now iI knew from bitter experience that when the eyes went red the next think would be snarling gritted teeth followed by chests punches to the syllables of each word...for example it would have gone'you!(1 chest punch(CP) stupid!(2CP) little!(2CP) bloody!(2CP) sod!(1CP)...I had no which to suffer pain so I ran...I ran oh my brothers...out out out the kitchen door left then left to the fence joining our bungalow to the next one then up up and up I leapt like a young gazelle, hauling meinself up on the fence then onto the roof...leaning over the edge, looking down Gollum like on my beloved mother, now full hate and loathing to your humble narrator oh mein brothers...Get down here you little bugger, NOW! she roared, but I wisely and sadly shook mein gulliver side to side, that discourse not being wise...panting she lurched off in in and in to the bungalow whilst I waited until her wrath had calmed...all because of a bloody egg eh?
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