Teachers from Kenton Bar School old days – Mrs. Brown

Now – Mrs. Brown was my first teacher at Kenton Bar and she was a crabby old so and so. I remember proudly showing her my “mathematics” – I thought I had cracked the secret behind the times tables at the age of 5. Of course my calculations were pure bollocks and she basically told me it was rubbish, that I would be punished for my work and I am sure I cried. Old hag she was…...

Second thing she did that stick in my mind to this day. We were all in the hall playing musical things – xylophones, chime bars etc. and I took it into my head to bang the chime bar whilst she was talking. Rather than just tell me to stop she made me leave the hall. I left the hall minus my shoes, we were all shoeless in the hall to avoid damaging the wooden floor. I did not wait mutely outside the hall but went home, in the rain, with no shoes on. My mother was furious and came up to the school to give the old boiler a piece of her mind.

Factoids about Mrs. Brown:

• She had a “dead” tooth at the front of her mouth, one of the incisors to get all medical on ya ass. This tooth was also brown – matching it’s owner perfectly
• She wore brown “sensible” shoes………….
• She had very short grey hair. Very severely cut – I reckon she was most likely either a wizened old spinster with no need to look glamorous any longer OR she was a closet lesbian (Note to readers: – Lesbian’s do NOT live on the Greek island of Lesbos, rather they tend to live in Jesmond – there is a picture of Lesbos above)

Kenton Bar Pyramid Appreciation Society